a snake in every garden

Apparently I’m not allowed to marry Tim Tebow because it means I’d be the one to take his virginity

okay so the sleeping pills don’t really make me go to sleep any faster nor do they really keep me asleep, but I can now sleep for 12+ hours in a single night/day so there’s that.　

Day One of Healthy* Living

• went for a morning jog and surprisingly didn’t die
• plan on walking to the nearest CVS after my doctor’s apt**
• that CVS is surprisingly closer than I thought
• also plan on making myself look cute at least 5 out of the 7 days of the week to boost my motivation for actually improving my mind, body and soul

*I still plan on smoking but I figure that all of the lung capacity I loose by puffing away will be made up for by my cardiovascular activities (and if that is in any way a wrong way to look at this decision I do not need to know about it because I am comfortable in the reality that I have created)

**I feel like I’ve been talking about this appointment more than it deserves but it’s one of those things that when you have nothing else going on in your life you can’t help but talk about it.

meanwhile it’s 2 PM and I haven’t changed out of my pajamas yet.

I had a dream last night that my friends got me cheap alcohol for my birthday. We celebrated in a library.